Everyone I know knows I used to be a smoker. They also know I used to be thinner. After being smoke free for almost two decades, I started smoking again. Not only that, I managed to pick up 60 pounds somewhere. Mind you, the weight did not come when I stopped smoking; it still came none the less. So, you’re fat & smoke. What Now?
Maybe You’re Fat & Smoke and drink and cuss and over spend and consume too much caffine and eat too many carbs ECETRA.
Whatever the vice is it boils down to one word = hopeless.
A serious state of being that I began to struggle with late last year. It was painful to be back in this position of heavy addiction. I was losing my battle to cigarettes and sporting an unhealthy body for yet another year. I could not stop saying to myself: So, You’re Fat & Smoke. Now What?
I could see the solution; the problem was escaping me.
Two time loser is the only way I could sum it up. Disappointing my husband and children weighed on me more then the actual weight and habits. Drowning in a sea of guilt, I decided it was time to quit, again. The feeling up to that point was in general, external.
Never the less, I was stuck like a hamster on a wheel: Now What?
It’s hard to get motivated if you can’t believe or imagine it’s possible.
First, come to terms with the guilt and perceived disapproval.
At the end of the day, no one, and I mean absolutely no one, is going to be harder on you about being fat and smoking than you.
Once you get right with that you realize one thing: everyone else is not struggling, you are. They are experiencing the guilt of you being unhealthy. They do not want to be held accountable any more then you do.
(P.S. Guilt is a useless emotion.)
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Second, define exactly what is causing you to remain where you are and develop ways to gradually sustain quitting these self-sabotaging tendencies.
By definition you have become INACTIVE…. idle, lazy, lethargic, sluggish, unenergetic, inoperative, blah, blah, blah.
You get it!
The challenge here is to think of the past less and the future more.
It’s all fine and good to want to quit something or anything that is “bad” for you; it’s coming back for you if you don’t figure out why you are there in the first place. Smoking and weight gain are just symptoms of something else.
We have ACTIVELY stopped taking care of ourselves.
That’s why you’re continually thinking… You’re Fat & Smoke. Now What?
Third, find ways to avoid the backslide.
By this point in the game the pain my not be as miserable as the habit, for now. It is easy to backslide that’s why anyone can do it! Remember the whole bit on inactivity. This is where the real work comes in. The portion where the fruits of your labor become evident to others. And although it is rewarding to be accepted by others, it is amazing to accept yourself.
The danger lies in temptation and those moments or situations that cause relapse.
Don’t get me wrong, the decision to act is important; the momentum is where the real change happened. Implementing subtle (and complex) actions moved me through the three stages above continuously. In the beginning, I wasn’t productive. It felt as though my wheels were just spinning. I just sat on the fence; my mind wanted to change.
I discovered it was as hard as it sounded, but I began to break it up into bite size pieces. To put it into different words: quitting smoking and getting healthy again is similar to maintaining a house.
Imagine you are overcome with clutter all the sudden.
When you first started letting the house go it was because, something greater required your attention. It might have started as an agreement for your time. That might look like trading the organization of a house for the care of a loved one (e.g., kids, sick parent, etc.) Now the chaos is overwhelming and probably paralyzing; you find yourself no longer wanting to occupy the space in its disarray. Smoking and weight gain can be the same.
So, you follow these steps:
You first, look at the area and figure out what needs to be done. Second, hatch out a plan to get it done and implement the process. Third, maintain the work, so the project will not be so difficult/need to be done in such a way again.
I encourage you not to play small. You don’t have to apologize anymore.
It is hard to move out of dilly-dally and into action. I assure you, hesitation will be as productive as you predicted, but hat guilt will not serve you either. Overcoming the strong hold of a “bad” habit didn’t start overnight nor will it end that way. Don’t beat yourself up. You may quit several times; a mile is walked by starting with the first step.
In time you can come to terms with the guilt of your vices, resolve your hopelessness, and find ways to take the steps to start actively taking care of yourself again. You’ll move out of the past and into the future with excitement. I promise!
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Speaking of houses, if you are looking for ways to transform any area of your house EVEN IF you stop you can still finish, check out our post on Organizing Your Closet (Easily).